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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27401848">When I am King; You Shall Be King</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmainders/pseuds/charmainders'>charmainders</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst and Romance, Bad Ending, Best Friends, Boys In Love, Break Up, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Established Relationship, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Light Angst, M/M, No Happy Ending Fest, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Break Up, Secret Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 23:27:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,675</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27401848</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmainders/pseuds/charmainders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the eyes of the public, they appeared professional, bright, and capable to be the leaders of the trinity.</p>
<p>Deep down, however, were deep-rooted secrets nobody really knew about, and they weren't just between the family.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>My favorite haikyuu fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When I am King; You Shall Be King</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Behind their parents back, they cuddled, kissed, loved each other. As long as they had each other, nothing else mattered.</p>
</blockquote>haikyuu angst week 2020, day six tier two: right person, wrong time.<p>Trigger warnings for: time-period typical homophobia, mentions of killing, war and death. While some of them are lighter, please do take a step back if needed!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><i>The Land of the Rising Opportunities.</i> Families of various wealth statuses and ruling power lived in this place, and three of the families form a trinity of the wealthiest - namely <i>Sugawara, Sawamura, and Azumane.</i> They were an extremely tightly knit group, and all the kids within the families knew each other - with Koshi, Daichi and Asahi being the future leaders of the trinity.</p>
<p>There were a total of nine children within the trinity. Koshi’s family consisted of him and his younger brother, Daichi had four younger siblings, and Asahi had an elder sister (but by default, the males would get the position to rule.)</p>
<p>All three families led the rest of the land with an iron fist, and everything seemed wonderful so far, nobody seemed to hate the royalty, and everyone got along fine. But underneath the layers were far more deep-rooted issues than anyone outside would be aware of. Only insider sources, the servants and the people who had frequent contact knew that the families secretly despise one another, had plans to throw each other out of exile, and wanted only one family to rule this place for the sake of the hierarchy. Their parents were all one in the same, no different from the other, money-hungry and power-hungry.  </p>
<p>Neither of the kids, at least those who were old enough to understand, liked it one bit.</p>
<hr/>
<p>When Daichi turned eighteen, the last of them all to do so, the three teens, under the disguise of normal, lower classmen, snuck out into the city together and had fun together. They went to the bars, interacted with the people, talked to pretty women instead of just the conversations with their own family and people who worked within the circles.</p>
<p>The three of them liked the other as best friends; it was easy to get along and they shared the same sense of humour, always active and bright, even if Asahi himself was a lot more silent than the rest. Growing up around each other meant friends to hang out with, to play, talk to, vent, and eat with. </p>
<p>In the dark of night, they sat on top of a taller building that overlooked the marketplace in town, the lights below dotting the scenery. The low lights that glimmered highlighted the beauty of the town; a bustling place where the farmers, blacksmiths, and the numerous other professions met. Everyone got along, with people coming and going. The three teens observed with curious eyes, hardly ever leaving the royal place, and watched as everyone got from one place to another, a destination in mind.</p>
<p>“It’s a shame we don’t get to come out to the marketplace more often.” Suga breaks the silence between them all, taking a long sip of his mead as they watch the scenes unfold. There happened to be some festival that night (the New Year’s festival, Asahi reminds him later), the song and dance filling the air as everyone cheered to the prospect of a new, bountiful year ahead of harvest, opportunities and cheer for the new royalty to come. </p>
<p>Asahi looks over at him, nodding in agreement as he tucks his hair back in its low bun. “It is. Look how beautiful the clothes are...Wouldn’t it be nice if we were as carefree?”</p>
<p>Daichi speaks up last in his ever-focused tone. “Sometimes I wonder if it’ll be easier to be a common person than be in line to lead the people like this.” </p>
<p>Suga can sense the disappointment in their voices, reaching his hands out and ruffling their hair as he sat between the three of them, legs dangling off the roof with a laugh. “Cheer up! We’ll always get opportunities to explore the land like this even after we become leaders. If you think about it, we’ll get to visit others too! So this won’t be the only chance.”</p>
<p>Both of them raise eyebrows at the same time, turning to look at Suga, who’s still beaming brightly at the sentiment. The silence lingers for a bit before all of them break into giggles and very soft laughter, trying not to get caught sitting up on the roof by anyone else.</p>
<p>It’s after a few more minutes of silence between them and the soft cheers and dancing that anyone speaks up. Asahi clears his throat, staring out in the distance, the light barely bouncing off his darkened expression. Both Suga and Daichi know that he’s in his low mood, and even they feel it too, because talk of becoming leaders always seemed to steer in this direction somehow whether they like it or not.</p>
<p>“Do y’all...think that at some point, our parents will try to drive the other families out to take full reign?” he starts, “I know it’s a difficult topic, but every time I hear my father talk about it...I get uncomfortable thinking about it.” In the low lighting, the rest could make out that Asahi is tearing up, his fingers fidgeting at the topic, peeling at the sides of his thumbs. </p>
<p>Daichi sighs, adjusting his clothes and his waistband before sitting up straight so his thoughts can seem to flow more coherently. “I still think my parents <i>don’t</i> realize how that would drive the whole land apart. It’s capable of bringing war to our people. Other kingdoms with stronger trinities can come and destroy us, overthrow the throne.”</p>
<p><i>Ah,</i> Daichi, the ever straightforward, careful minded leader between all three of them. There was a reason why Daichi was made for leadership; being the eldest of four siblings has prepared him for this, he’s learnt to lead the people from the absolute powerhouse of his father, he’s careful in planning. That didn’t mean Suga and Asahi weren’t that way, Suga knows, but it’s because of Daichi’s family background that has prepared him so much more. </p>
<p>Not to mention, being in such a family with politically-minded parents would put pressure on him to grow up faster than he wanted to.</p>
<p>“It’s the fact that <i>none</i> of them are thinking about the consequences.” Suga slouches and lets out a long-held breath, chuckling sadly. “I don’t understand why we can’t just get along. They smile at each other, but behind their backs our families are plotting murder on each other. It’s like they forget that the three of us grew up together and are best friends.”</p>
<p>Suga turns around after a minute, deciding that on a night like this, being negative never did anyone good. He stood up, chest puffed out and bright. “It’s New Years Day! Why the hell are we so negative for!” he pumped his fist to the air, eyes sparkling. When the other two only gave him questioning looks, simultaneously questioning how he was still so positive and possibly assuming that the mead was already beginning to take some effect on Suga's lightweight tendencies, he only grinned brighter and pulled their hands, making them stand up. Gesturing, he made them put their hands in a circle, just the three of them. </p>
<p>“Let’s make a pact.” Suga starts, the curious looks of Daichi and Asahi falling on him again. “When we do finally take over the leadership of this land we call home, let’s reverse what our parents did. Teach our siblings how to lead too, and the nine of us can lead without hatred or wanting money or power. All of us are equal, we have each others’ backs. Does that sound good?” </p>
<p>Daichi and Asahi’s both lit up immediately, one after the other, and eagerly nodded at Suga’s words. Suga’s smile widened more, and he spoke again, “So, on the count of three? To friendship and a powerful joint leadership?”</p>
<p><i>“To friendship and a powerful joint leadership.”</i> Daichi repeated, his brows now furrowing to match the determined, mahogany eyes. <i>“One, two, three!”</i></p>
<p>The three of them pushed their hands down, and lifted it in cheer, just as the countdown around them ended. As fireworks burst around them in the night sky, the three teens laughed to their hearts’ content, fulfilled and with newfound strength. If they couldn’t convince their parents to stop hating each other, then they’ll just do it themselves, whatever it takes for them to do so. They were only stronger together than fallen apart, and the future of their land was for them to decide.</p>
<p>Suga looked at the other two proudly, arms around each of their shoulders. </p>
<p>
  <i>They’ll be okay. They will be.</i>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>There was another secret that only the three of them knew, in comparison to the one that insiders to the family knew. This one was much more scandalous, kept on the down-low for their sakes, held back so tightly because if it were to leak, it would definitely give some form of reason for their families to fight and start an internal war with each other.</p>
<p>Daichi and Suga loved each other, always have. It was bound to happen, considering the three of them grew up around each other, as well as their siblings; the three of them closely knit to the point of even sharing their clothes at times, much to their mothers’ annoyance.</p>
<p>When they turned sixteen, Daichi had asked Asahi out of the blue if he would be okay if he liked Suga romantically. Asahi was, naturally, shocked at first, but if he really did give it a thought, it was pretty obvious it was bound to happen somehow. When Asahi was busy with his own schedule that his parents and caretaker made for him, Suga and Daichi were always around each other, did everything together. It was also known (between the three of them only) that the two of them didn’t like girls either, even if their families were advising them to go out and find someone, or they would be put into arranged marriages.</p>
<p>Asahi had given Daichi ideas for confessing, and it worked out - Suga did feel the same way. Even if they couldn’t be together in the eyes of royalty, they made it work. Often disguised as going out on dates, the two would sneak out and go to town together on their own. Asahi didn’t mind covering for them, knowing the risk it took for them to even be able to do so.</p>
<p>Tender yet hushed whispers of <i>I love you,</i> spending the nights outside in other places than their home, holding hands out of view from the rest. Daichi and Suga made it work as best as they could, even if it meant that they couldn’t be together publicly. At eighteen, two years deep into their love, Suga knew he was in this forever, wanting nothing more than his best friend. Their red string of fate, as much as the world tried to remove it, thinning and fraying at the ends, stayed strong like their feelings and their love for each other.</p>
<p>Behind their parents back, they cuddled, kissed, loved each other. As long as they had each other, nothing else mattered.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Still, even with their promises of love, it didn’t stop them from being jealous.</p>
<p>On one of the spring nights following Daichi’s eighteenth, Suga was expected to meet a woman from one of the many advisors’ families. While Daichi and Asahi didn’t know the details exactly and didn’t have much information to go off on, it was clear that the Sugawara family liked them a lot - their daughter was highly cultured, had experience in professional clothes making and tea making, and the eldest of the family, meaning she was bound to take the reign from her father (their family only had one daughter). The pair was made for each other - kind, sweet-hearted beings that put others before themselves.</p>
<p>The table was filled with goods and food that the chefs specially made for the occasion. Brightly coloured fruits and flowers in full bloom decorated the table, along with the finest of hand-sewn cloth to symbolise the colours of their families - orange, white, and black on their side; red, white and black for the other. The harmony of it brightened up the dining room that was only used for receiving visitors from other lands and families in other trinities. Their family had brought the finest harvest and their own family pride: self-made textiles.</p>
<p>Naturally, Daichi was jealous as he watched Suga interact with this woman <i>(Yuki, as she would introduce)</i> in a polite manner. He had to remind himself, as he watched the families interact, that Suga’s love was only his to keep and that even if the arrangement went through, that Suga only had eyes for nobody but him. Their families were bound to want more meetings before finalising this arrangement, and it gave them both time to still be close and for Suga to object to the marriage if he deemed it to be unsuitable. </p>
<p>As the night went on, Daichi was only growing more restless, tapping his leg ever so softly on the floor and swirling his glass of alcohol casually in his fingers as he listened to the families talk. Something about diplomacy and their children being leaders. He hated it, every bit of it, wished he wasn't the eldest at time because it only meant more work for him, but still remained composed. From across the table he could see Suga looking at him, and he sees a subtle bit of a hint Suga makes. Suga gestures once more to catch his attention, then pointing to the door and up the stairs. He gave Asahi a look too, asking to help him cover, and Asahi nodded. </p>
<p>Quickly, he turned his attention to his right and dipped his head. “Father, I’ll be right back, I just need to catch a breather and freshen up.”</p>
<p>“Be back quickly.”</p>
<p>“Yes, father.”</p>
<p>So he slipped out of the room, headed up the stairs where Suga had told him to, the secret place they would hide in all the time when they wanted to talk, one they have been using since they were kids to hide from their parents. There Suga sat, gazing out to the sky, the sky dim with bright stars as he waited. Daichi approached slowly, taking his spot beside Suga, and without waiting or invitation, he placed his head on Suga’s shoulder with a quiet sigh. Suga didn't jump. Nobody else would do it the way Daichi did, so softly and gently.</p>
<p>“You’ve been quiet tonight,” Suga starts, hand on Daichi’s thigh. He returns the touch by lacing their fingers and closes his eyes. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” he asks in a soft tone, genuine, no teasing, nothing. Just him and only him alone.</p>
<p>Daichi knows that even with eighteen years of friendship between them and two years of being in love with each other, even if they knew each other at the back of their hands, they would still have moments of uncertainty like this. Daichi figures it’s better to be honest than to try and go beating around the bush about his feelings. </p>
<p>“You know that I’m like this when your parents arrange for you to meet other women in the prospect of marriage,” he mutters, releasing his hand and clasping it again to soothe himself. “I’m just...jealous. I know it’s so stupid because both of us are committed to each other, made it clear we only want each other, and yet it pains me when I think about you having to be with another woman. It sucks. I don't understand what's so wrong about two boys together like this.”</p>
<p>Suga huffs and adjusts himself to let Daichi lay his head in his lap. Screw the clothes they were wearing, because Daichi only cared about this right now. He doesn’t question the motion, just willingly lays down on his back, one foot on the ground and the other stretched out, head on Suga's thigh. He gazes up and touches Suga’s cheek, looking at the way his jaw clenches at the last cold breath of air in the Spring. Daichi smooths out the wrinkles at his temple, making Suga look down at him.</p>
<p>Suga gazes at him, and Daichi sees the stars in his eyes, only for him to remember and keep. “Nobody else will be able to take away what we have. I’d do <i>anything</i> to pluck the stars from the sky and give it to you, and <i>only you.”</i></p>
<p>Daichi returns the small smile, true to emotion, feeling his heart go a little faster. “Even if Yuki is a better match for you than me?”</p>
<p>“There’s no other person in the world who’s been by my side for as long as you have been.” Suga reminds him, letting his own long fingers tickle at his skin, and he giggles, letting his eyes fall shut at the way Suga’s going through his hair. “Even if we have to hide, I know my heart is only yours.”</p>
<p>The confirmation of their love is enough to shut Daichi up and to calm his worried soul. He nods, enjoys the breeze that comes and goes. He can hear the faint humming from Suga, and he knows it’s their shared song even from the beginning note without even waiting.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>“Lavender's blue, dilly, dilly, lavender's green; when I am king, dilly, dilly, you shall be king.”</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>When Suga pauses to wait for him to continue the next line, Daichi’s smile only grows fonder as he opens his eyes to meet Suga’s, hand intertwined with his between them, warm and tingly when he opens his mouth to continue the lyrics of the lullaby they adored in their moments of secrecy. </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>“Who told you so, dilly, dilly, who told you so? 'Twas my own heart, dilly, dilly, that told me so.”</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Both of their voices drown out, and they spend the rest of the next few minutes in each others’ comfort and looking at each other, embracing the warmth and the stolen moments of love before they knew Asahi would come to look for them, like always, because they would forget the time and it would be half an hour before anyone tried to look for them, and Daichi knows Asahi will tell them that they needed to be back downstairs or they will be found out.</p>
<p>As Daichi takes his seat back at the table, seats away from Suga at the other end, their souls are intertwined even with the distance between them. They share a small glance and a smile, before returning to the grim reality of whatever is beyond them for the future ahead.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Daichi! Asahi!” </p>
<p>Suga beckoned them to come over quickly to the table, where there were wine glasses filled with varying levels of water. All three of them stood around as they observed the cups, looking at the elder who sat in front of them. “Look, you can play music with these!” Suga exclaims excitedly, urging the teacher to tap the glasses for them to hear. The teacher nodded his head, and slowly clinked the glasses with a spoon - <i>do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do,</i> a full chord progression. Suga glanced back at them, and then to the teacher. All three of them wore matching expressions of wonder. </p>
<p>“Sensei, that was amazing!”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he laughs brightly, then placing the spoon down and doing a mock-bow, making the three young kids giggle again. “If you would like, I could play a song from it.”</p>
<p>Asahi’s nod was not missed, the young one eager to hear it. The teacher began playing a soft tune that all of them recognized without going far.</p>
<p>Suga was the first to begin singing. <i><b>“Lavender's blue, dilly, dilly, lavender's green, when I am king, dilly, dilly, you shall be queen.”</b></i></p>
<p>Asahi and Daichi laughed along, following afterwards in the song, voices bright and uplifting even if a little out of tune and scratchy, but it was to be expected from three young children. The teacher continued playing, then going again when their parents came into the room, stood by the door as they watched the kids sing along to the notes, dancing around as they did before falling into giggles at each other.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>“I love to dance, dilly, dilly, I love to sing. When I am queen, dilly, dilly, you'll be my king. Who told me so, dilly, dilly, who told me so? I told myself, dilly, dilly, I told me so!”</b>
  </i>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>In the summer, the trinity of families decided to hold a party to invite people from other family trinities of other kingdoms in the prospect of finding suitable life partners for Daichi and Asahi. As much as the two of them groaned and Suga had laughed at them about it (and then earning a smack upside the head from his mother about his manners), both of them knew it was unavoidable and it would happen the moment they were old enough to marry.</p>
<p>That didn’t stop the endless complaints though.</p>
<p>“Do I <i>really</i> have to do this?” Daichi glanced over at Asahi, who was getting dressed by his own family’s stylist. Both of them donned black pieces with subtle orange collars to reflect the trinity colours, with a white waist piece, and their respective family crests on the jacket piece. It was nice to get dressed up, but Daichi didn’t really enjoy having to be social. If he could get his way, he would have snuck out of the place by now, but he knows the guards will catch him without an official reason, so he just unwillingly agreed.</p>
<p>Asahi looked over, giving the same look. “You think I wanna do this?” he asked with a deadpan tone, arms held out horizontally so his stylist could tighten the waist piece.</p>
<p>“If you don’t, then your parents will come after us and the assistants, you both know that.” Asahi’s stylist smiled in teasing, earning a long but soft groan from Daichi. “Enough whining. Just treat tonight like a simple dinner! Go talk to others, see if anyone catches your eye, and get to know them. You can’t be single forever. Not when you two are to take leadership along with Sugawara.”</p>
<p>The mention of Suga made Daichi’s eyes brighten a little, the weight on his shoulders taken off by a bit. He wondered what Suga was wearing that night, wondered if his kimono would be the same as theirs, or somewhat different. “Maybe the three of us can stick together.” he tried to offer a smile to Asahi. “Let’s just get through tonight, I guess. Make the most out of it.”</p>
<p>Asahi’s shoulders hunched a bit, then raised again with a nod. “Fine. Just tonight. After tonight, we owe each other a glass of mead each.”</p>
<p>“We can have it tonight.” Daichi proposed, offering his fist for a bump.</p>
<p>Asahi returned it with his own. <i>“Deal.”</i>  </p>
<p>Throughout the dinner, the drinks, the conversing, the awkward conversations and first impressions, Daichi already knew not to get his hopes up, knowing he had someone to find and talk to before the night ended. He enjoyed it all, really, the place livened up and colourful to welcome their guests, but with nobody really paying attention to him, he found his way to their usual spot in hopes that someone else would find their way there, too, in due time.</p>
<p>The faint sounds of wooden slippers brought his attention away from the view of the colourful street below them, and his eyes instantly lit up at the sight of the familiar silver-haired man that opened the door. </p>
<p>“Koshi.” he whispered breathlessly, taking in the sight of his boyfriend, dressed in the same colours, except that his pants were grey to match his hair, unlike his and Asahi’s black pants. Daichi was mesmerized, and his gaze didn’t help Suga, making the other blush pink as he made his way into Daichi’s embrace, head on his chest. Daichi chuckled to himself, hands circling his waist, his right hand resting on his back. “You look wonderful.”</p>
<p>“As do you,” Suga whispers in return, rubbing his back up and down in comfort, then taking a step back to look at him with a look of mischief. “The party must’ve been boring for you to come up and hide here.” </p>
<p>Two could play this game. “Eh, not really?” Daichi smirked, “I still owe Asahi a glass of mead, but this is far more important. And besides, it seems like Asahi is too busy dancing with some girl from the kingdom that's about two days on a horse from here.”</p>
<p>“Wasn’t he complaining about attending this event?” Suga laughs, unable to believe it, and Daichi nods. “Betrayer.” he doubled over in laughter, holding his stomach as he bent down and laughed at the idea. When he was done laughing, he stood back up and wiped his eyes from all the tears. </p>
<p>Daichi reached his hand out between them, and Suga closed the gap with his own. “So, how’s the talk with Yuki’s family coming along?” he asks, curious. </p>
<p>“They’re no longer interested, I think. They say they have better options than me.” he shrugs. “Not that I care much about it. I wasn't interested to begin with and was more than happy to have been declined.” </p>
<p>Daichi blows a raspberry, squeezing Suga’s hand with his own. “They don’t know what they’re missing out. But it’s okay, it means more of you to myself.” he grinned, then turning his body to look at Suga, pressing his lips to Suga’s forehead. </p>
<p>Suga pouted at that, feeling like a kid again. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean they’re gonna stop, and you know I hate it when they hold dinners to find girlfriends for me. And tonight, it seems like I’m the jealous one.” he leaned in and took a whiff of Daichi’s kimono jacket with suspicious eyes, then pouting more. “As I expected, you had to dance with some of the girls, right? I saw you with a brown-haired girl dancing. She’s really pretty, to be fair...Not that I’m super jealous or anything-”</p>
<p>Daichi felt a giggle bubble at the back of his throat as he moved closer, tilting Suga’s chin up and kissing him with a long, passionate one, no hesitance full of nothing but love. He can feel the way Suga melts just slightly in his arms, his own moving to rest on his chest, and their lips dance in perfect rhythm.</p>
<p>A few minutes of making out and breathlessly gasping for air later, Daichi finally finds it in him to speak again. “Are you still jealous?”</p>
<p>Suga pants through short breaths, but shakes his head with a laugh, hiding his face in Daichi’s shoulder. “Nope. Not at all. <i>This</i> is fine.” he replied, flustered as he tried to hide his cheeks desperately. </p>
<p>Both of them stood in the silence, letting the music from downstairs fill the air as the stars twinkled beyond them before anyone spoke again. He knew this time, Asahi would be too busy dancing and drinking to come up and get them, and if his predictions were right, it had been at least fifteen minutes since they’d gone missing. </p>
<p>He could care less about those issues if it weren’t for their images. He touched Suga’s arm firmly, kissed his temple, humming their tune. Even if this was a very short date, cut off by the need to protect their images in front of everyone, Daichi could make the most of it in that few moments. Angling his body, he held Suga close, letting the other boy’s head rest on his shoulder, brushing the back of his head where his hairline ended, swaying gently side to side as he coaxed him, arms holding like fine porcelain. </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>“Lavender's green, dilly, dilly, lavender's blue. If you love me, dilly, dilly, I will love you.”</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Suga lifted his head, eyes innocent like the first time they’d confessed, and he could see Suga’s lips curl at the corners faintly. Daichi knew Suga's favourite line out of the lullaby, knew how much it calmed him, the way it brought him out of his worry if he had any, knew that it was a declaration of their everlasting love for the other. It was simple, a short line that probably meant nothing to anyone else, but in that moment, it was a line to signify the innocence and purity of their love for each other, lasting forever and for eternity.</p>
<p>
  <i>“I love you, too.”</i>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>They were bound to be found out at some point, but Daichi had not expected it to be this soon, not at least for another few years. This felt way too soon, but when everything was exposed to the trinity of families, it was too much to handle.</p>
<p>Nobody really knew how to respond to it - their parents had been the ones to confront them first, one night after the both of them returned home. They returned one after another, having gone on a date, to avoid arousing suspicion, but even if they tried to pretend like they weren’t in the streets and finding spots in the alleyways trying to make out furiously, out of the eyes of the public.</p>
<p>“What’s the meaning of you both holding hands?” Daichi’s father was the first to question, eyes wide. Daichi could see how furious he was, ears red with the fury that he was only used to when he had done something really wrong. As far as he knew, falling in love with Suga had been the best thing he’d ever done. Nothing wrong with falling in love with someone.</p>
<p>“With all due respect,” Suga started, and Daichi turned to look at him in a moment of fear, shaking his head and giving a look, questioning what he was about to do. Suga just stood his ground, not wavering. “With how close we were, holding hands can be natural like best friends do. We were out having fun, finding women like you and my parents would want us too.”</p>
<p>Daichi’s mother merely scoffed, glaring at them both with the same expression. “Who are you kidding?” she starts, crossing her arms and placing them on the table. “Do you both think we haven’t noticed why you both absolutely refuse to marry or date any of the women from the families we arranged to meet with, or the fact that you both refuse to attend any of the parties and run off from it at the end? Or the fact that when you both go out, it's at the same time?”</p>
<p>Suga glared in return, hand gripping Daichi’s tighter under the table. “Don’t you think we should be allowed to take it slowly and find someone we can accept and respect in our lives?”</p>
<p>This time, Suga’s mother did not hesitate to fight back against the two of them. “Yeah, but considering how many women you both refuse to even look at, we’re beginning to think you’re hiding something!”</p>
<p>Daichi took a shaky breath, feeling the way the exhaustion in him built up. He was so glad that Asahi was not involved in this interrogation because dragging Asahi into this would be plain mean; he’d done nothing and was a good wingman for them both in helping them hide.</p>
<p>“I don’t think any of you realize how much it would hurt the both of us and Asahi, as well as our siblings, to know that the three family heads all hate each other.” he glares at them all, earning hushed gasps from the four parents and a look of shock from Suga at the sudden words. Daichi stood up, looking around the room. “For the last eighteen years or maybe even longer, the three families within this trinity have <i>consistently</i> wanted to find ways to kill each other or throw each other into exile for the sake of earning power. In your endless war, you have dragged your own sons into it, to convince them to hate each other, to convince them that the only way to the top is a possible war. If anything, you should be ashamed.” he spat before tugging Suga’s hand, getting him to stand up. </p>
<p>When Suga finally did get to his feet, looking smaller than he did than he was just now when he had been shouting to defend themselves, he grabbed Suga’s hand, but delicately interlaced their fingers, then raised their linked hands to show it to their parents. </p>
<p><i>More gasps of horror.</i> He expected this response. Daichi’s heart was pumping loud in his ears as he slowly dropped their linked hands, and bowed. “Yes, we’ve been going out since we were sixteen.” he confesses there and then, “My heart lays with Koshi. Wherever he goes, I’m going, too. You can send me to exile if I am that much of a disgrace to the family name, but I do love Koshi very much. I do not want any part of the corrupt leadership if all six of the family leaders hate each other. I refuse to even begin to be in this trinity where an internal war will erupt. So count me out.”</p>
<p>With the shouts of his name drowned out, he slowly lets go of Suga’s hand and is about to walk out, before he feels Suga grab onto his arm, and he turns to see Suga’s eyes, determined now more than ever. “If he gets sent to exile, I’m going with him.” he declares, closing the gap between them and kissing Daichi hard on the lips before pulling back and looking at the four parents. “Count me out if all y’all are gonna do is hate each other and want to kill each other.”</p>
<p>At that, Daichi smiles fondly at Suga, even in that tense moment, and the two of them walk out of the room to return to Daichi’s room.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Suga glanced up as his advisor came into the room, and took the two letters that he had in his hand. Both were sealed in delicate paper and he recognized the family crest on the embossed stamps. He thanked his advisor and allowed him to take his leave for the night, opening the first one slowly. It was much more formal looking, with official writing in cursive and everything. </p>
<p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>“Daichi Sawamura and Suki Akihito</i>
  </p>
</div><i></i><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>You have been cordially invited to attend the marriage ceremony between both, as hosted by the respective families.”</i>
  </p>
</div><i>Ah. So that’s what this was about.</i><p>He supposed he knew what the other letter was about. Without finishing the invitation letter, he opened the envelope and took the paper out of its packet. The handwriting was familiar, neat and so well composed. It was so like him to write this well, so formally even if he didn’t have to. He braced himself with a shaky breath, knowing where this was going.</p>
<p>
  <i>“Koshi, my one and only.”</i>
</p>
<p>He could already feel the tears as he read the first line.</p>
<p>
  <i>“When we were kids, with Asahi, we promised that we will be great leaders together. Back then, we did everything together, like studying, dancing, and singing. Then when we turned sixteen, I told you I loved you for the first time, under the night sky in our private hideout, the one place we both knew and went to often to hide out of the eyes of our parents. Both of us fell in love there. I will never forget what I said to you, that night as we ate the food I made secretly on my own. I promised to love you for the rest of time, even if the world was against us, because you understand me like nobody else has. And till this day, I still do. I love you, even if you didn’t manage to pluck stars from the sky like you’d promised when we turned eighteen. Remember when we promised to stop our families from hating each other? I think we only managed to make them hate each other even more. But that’s besides the point here.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I do not regret any of it, even if it was short-lived. <b>You were the right person for me, but at the wrong time,</b> and we both wouldn’t have lasted even if we tried, we both knew it from the beginning; we knew the risks that came with it. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, though, because you meant everything to me, and now we’re separated from each other. Some sort of cruel fate this turned out to be, huh? Now we can no longer talk, and I’m going to be married to someone I don’t love, even if I try to lie to my parents I do, for the sake of having children who will continue the line. She’s very beautiful, and she’s kind, but nobody can compare to you and the love you gave me as I laid with you in your warmth, protected and steady with both my feet on the ground. I feel terrible, lying about it all, but what has to be done is to be carried out to the fullest potential.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Remember when we used to sing that song? ‘Lavender's green, dilly, dilly, lavender's blue, if you love me, dilly, dilly, I will love you.’ I haven’t stopped thinking about that since our families separated us and banned us completely from seeing each other. I still love you. I really do. The song will only be ours; I don’t think I can ever sing that song without thinking of you anymore.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>You were the right person for me, but at the very wrong time when both our families already hated each other. Perhaps, in another lifetime, we can both meet again, fall in love and not be restricted by our parents. I hope you’re doing well, too. I heard about the good news, about your family’s soon to be newborn. You must be very happy. Stay happy for me, Koshi. That’s all I need in my life. To know that you’re happy. Then I’m happy, too. Stay healthy. Send me a letter. And I’m sorry I didn’t fight for us.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>With all of my love,</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Daichi Sawamura.”</i>
</p>
<p>When Suga finished the letter, he felt his hands shake slightly, putting it down and hiding his face in his palms. Even as he would move on and marry another woman following their split, he knew things weren’t that easy. Four years on, he still found himself missing the lingering touch and warmth that only Daichi could provide him with, still stubbornly dreamt about the potential they could’ve had to continue their relationship and live a life together. How funny, he thinks, that they had a chance. They were perfect for each other, beautiful even. But both of them knew. And <i>yet</i> Suga still loved him anyway.</p>
<p><i>Was he a fool for thinking it’d work out?</i> Perhaps so. But as he looks at his portrait on the table, a small frame of him and his wife, he thinks about the future of his current family, and how he has an image to uphold. So much for the image, he thinks as he places the letter in his box of trinkets. He was particular about it, not allowing anyone else to go through it, but they didn’t know it was because it held everything he and Daichi held close to their hearts. It meant everything to him. He folded the letter neatly and tucked it into the box, then covered it up, not wanting to give himself the opportunity to think about it even more and cry over it. </p>
<p>As he turned out the light in his office, he bit his lip, then made his way to their hideout place, standing there for a few, brief minutes. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend that Daichi was there, holding him close and swaying, singing the tune. He wrapped his arms around himself, humming, sighing. </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>“Lavender's green, dilly, dilly, lavender's blue. If you love me, dilly, dilly, I will love you.”</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>He could pretend to be fine in the eyes of everyone, but one thing was for sure. </p>
<p>
  <i>He still loved Daichi.</i>
</p>
<p>fin.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i don't know what was going through my mind when i wrote this, but uh...happy day six of angst week? ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )</p>
<p>i just wanted an excuse to write a time-period royal piece, honestly, and i know this is not accurate to the culture, so please bear with the horrible descriptions...and the sad ending obviously....ha ha ha...that's all I've written for like...the whole week....</p>
<p>song used is <i>lavender's blue,</i> a popular nursery rhyme. it was used in cinderella (2015) and i really liked it because it suit the royalty theme and it felt like it was describing endless love.</p>
<p>follow me on twitter and yell at me! (@/SUGAWARAVITY)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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